Memoir Monday- Dad Malan, Gentle Giant

in #hive-1063168 months ago

My Dad Malan was one of a kind, a gentle giant of a man.

It's not easy to think of only one favourite memory of my Dad, as there are many!

I have to tell the story from the beginning. My Dad was one of eleven children, yep, it was the days before television! He only had one sister; boys seem to run in the family!

Dad was born in the midst of the Great Depression, so life was not easy.
This did not curb my super-talented father's positive outlook and his zest for life.
He had a keen interest in mechanical implements and how they worked. He invented many implements - for the garage, and even for Mom's baking. He believed in making everyday tasks easier, so would come up with all kinds of ideas.
He was a fitter and turner by trade, but missed his calling, as he had the patience of Job, loved teaching and explaining mechanical stuff to my brothers.

I used to feel so bad because he would try and explain the mechanical workings of whatever to me as well, but my brain was never wired to understand mechanics. I pretended to understand though!

His one project that did not last very long was when he installed speakers in every room of the house, even the bathroom, so we could all listen to the radio, yep, I kid you not! We had to listen to the one radio station that whoever chose, but could not turn down the volume if it was something we did not want to listen to.

Dad was a talented self-taught musician. He played many instruments - guitar, clarinet, saxophone, piano accordion, concertina, the mouth organ, and tried his hand at others. He played in a band for many years, in the grand ballroom era, but loved many genres. His favourite was jazz and traditional 'boeremusiek' (Afrikaans folk music).

Whenever we got together with the family, the three brothers-in-law would fashion homemade 'musical instruments' from things like old oil cans, and other paraphernalia from the garage, and the family would sing along. Those were wonderful happy times!

Dad Malan collage 1.jpg

What I love about @ericvancewalton's Monday Memoirs is how some long-forgotten memories pop into my head once I sit down and start writing.

I was not into sport; music and books were my thing. My brothers on the other hand were sportsmen.

Being the only girl out of five children, and having inherited some of Dad's musical talent, I had the privilege of going to piano lessons from a young age.

An old piano with brass candelabra was bought from a farm. I was super excited and played that piano every single day. It was the best gift ever!

How Mom and Dad afforded it, I have no idea, but they made many sacrifices for all of us.

Mom Lily was a stay-at-home Mom while we were at school. I did tell you about her entrepreneurship in a previous Monday Memoir, This Resilient Lily would not Wilt! and how Dad built a vending pushcart, repurposed from something on wheels.

My Dad was quite the inventor. If something was not on the market, or there was no money to buy it, he would design and manufacture it in his garage, which was his playground. Dad could fix anything!

I cut my hand quite badly once when cutting a gem squash and the knife slipped, so Dad invented a gem squash cutter, which I still use today, it's great for slicing veggies like butternut as well! Dad made a couple, and patented it, but trusted the wrong person, Dad's invention was turned into a biltong slicer, which has been modified by many other manufacturers over the years. Dad was disappointed and sad about it but did not hold onto any grudges.
That was just how my Dad was.

When we were growing up, we went on annual three-week camping holidays; Dad at one time built a Touraway from an old trailer - this is a trailer with a tented rooftop; the trailer sides opened up into 'beds', a canvas extension was added to make a big tented area, mostly used for cooking, as we spent more time outdoors. It was way more comfortable than sleeping on campbeds or sleeping bags!

Pa Mallan collage 2.jpg

Another memory was when I was in my teens and prepared my first meal for the family; it tasted awful! My Mom would have known this was a disaster and told my brothers not to say anything. They all quickly disappeared from the table, but Dad finished his whole plate and told me how he enjoyed it!
Again, that was just typical of my Dad ❤

I will never forget the day when my little car blew a head gasket. Arthur was in hospital recovering from a triple bypass. I was driving to work, home, and the hospital every day, till one day when my car suddenly overheated.

I was close to home, so free-wheeled down the hill.
I held my breath when Dad put the oil dipstick in, and when it came out milky, I knew there was major damage, and burst into tears. Everything just seemed to be going wrong with Arthur still in High Care!

Dad calmly told me not to worry, he would get cousin James to source a reconditioned engine, and fix the car.

I will never forget that moment, as I felt my world had come to an end. How was I going to tell my hubby who had just undergone open-heart surgery, that I had damaged the car by being negligent, not checking the water, and all the unnecessary expense that meant?

Well, I had to do it eventually, and will never forget the look on his face when he said it was his fault! I thought hubby had not heard what I said as he'd been in the hospital for about a week already!

Turned out he had serviced the car just before he had a light heart attack and landed in hospital.
The radiator flush he put in, was supposed to be drained out after about 100 km, but he forgot, no wonder given the circumstances, and I was none the wiser. So, the radiator flush started 'eating' holes in the radiator, hence the water loss.

My Dad once again saved the day, during a very difficult period, but we all laughed about it afterward as both my and hubby's faces must have been a picture when he said it was his fault!

Dad was not happy when he had to retire, but thankfully found a half-day job at their church, as the handyman. He was the only one who could get their old Kombi going and would fetch all the old ladies for the Women's Auxiliary meetings.
It was a happy period for both Dad and Mom, as she 'worked' half-day at Sizanani, the church's outreach program which now is a Sewing Academy. They were both much loved by everyone involved with the church.

The church was overflowing at Dad's memorial service, an unexpected and untimely death, oddly the same age as my Arthur; just four days before his 73rd birthday.

It was a year after 9/11, a date he said he could never forget as it was on his birthday; not knowing that we would be having his memorial service exactly a year later, to the day.

There was a moment's silence for the victims of that awful day during the memorial.

I miss you Dad Malan!


This has been my contribution to @ericvancewalton's Memoir Monday

This week’s Memoir Monday question:
What is one of your favorite memories of your father?


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I also loved my father very much, remembering them is a good thing, they gave us life and raised us. What better reason to write about them. Thank you @lizelle.🥰

Thank you @mamani, I'm so thankful that Eric started #memoirmonday, as I've already got some lovely memories stored here on Hive!

Enjoy the weekend dear @lizelle.🥰

What a lovely, heartfelt tribute <3 I'm sure he would've been happy to read it! And all the beautiful things you write, @lizelle! Thank you.

I was very lucky to have had two very special unique souls as parents, they always thought outside the box!
Thank you for your lovely words @honeydue, I'm glad you enjoyed it xxx

I love how poignantly sweet this was. Filled with delightful stories of a truly great man. And with how happy he was to use his hands, who knows, he might be Heaven's handy man right now. Lots of love to you, Gran Lizelle.🌺

Awe that's such a lovely response @jhymi. I do believe Dad had a hand 'from the other side'. I actually wrote a long while ago about how my little car would not idle when I came to a stop or had to slow down, it would just 'cut out'. That went on for at least a whole year, it was awful in peak traffic. It worried Dad as he and hubby tried everything, but could not find the reason why. About two weeks after his death, I suddenly realized my car was idling beautifully; it never gave trouble for the following 3 years that I owned it. To me there's no other explanation as I knew just how much it worried my Dad!

It was nice reading about memories of your father. Something that brings in tears.

Hi @shamis, yes tears and also smiles. I miss them all.

🙏

What a wonderful and resourceful man and this was the perfect tribute to him, Lizelle! I bet you were beyond grateful when he fixed the car. I really appreciate your participation in Memoir Monday. Enjoy the weekend!

Dad was resourceful indeed, a very apt description!
As my brain took this trip down memory lane, I still find myself remembering other stand-out favourites. One memory was when I prepared my first meal for the family; it tasted awful. My Mom would have known this was a disaster and told my brothers not to say anything. They all quickly disappeared from the table, but Dad finished his whole plate and told he how he enjoyed it!
Again, that's just typical of my Dad ❤
Thank you for Memoir Monday Eric!

That's another great memory! You're welcome, Lizelle! It's hard to believe week 6 is already approaching.

I was so engrossed reading your father's story. You have wonderful and detailed memories of him♥️

I loved reading your story. That thing about putting speakers even in the bathroom to all listen to the same radio was a bit of a strange idea, hahaha. I'm glad you've had him for quite some time and that you keep so many beautiful memories of your life next to him. Thanks for sharing dear @lizelle . A big hug from Maracay.

Yes, it must have taken him ages to do, and likely my brothers would have been roped in to lead the wires through the ceiling as he never did any shoddy work! All that work for nothing!
Thank you for stopping by, I'm glad you enjoyed it @irvinc!
A big hug right back from SA.

What I love about @ericvancewalton's Monday Memoirs is how some long-forgotten memories pop into my head once I sit down and start writing.

Right?!

Those you recount here are very moving. Your father was the father mine wished to be.

Yes I was pecking away a tear or two when I was sifting through Mom's old albums but then had some chuckles by myself remembering some of the stuff Dad made. I could write a book about my parents and the things they did, despite never having much money. They both certainly were resourceful, as Eric said!
I was blessed indeed!

Men who were loved, shared knowledge to help us grow are people to admire.

Sounds like Dad stepped in to overcome many problematic household tools, as well as fix things on the go without money to waste, turning his hand to thinking then making it work.

Lovely reminder of our folks who were the pillars in our childhood that carried on throughout adult years.

That generation for sure were made of tough material!
I still use Mom's banking implements that Dad made, he really believed in making tasks easier by having the right tools.
All my brothers were/are very skillful at many diy task. Dad certainly left a wonderful legacy.

My Dad always had tasks we assisted with especially in the garden, he built his own drying trays for fruit in the garden like apricots and peaches, an open cage with roof top for hanging onions to dry in between the garages, here the boys had to help. Yes our parents taught us a lot! Sad these are not seen all that often any more.

Your story is full of memories, lessons and courageous moves to make anyone believe in themselves, I love it all thank you.