— BuildIt

phoenixwren in #hive-127911 • 3 years ago

Oh so cute and once again YOU ARE SO PRODUCTIVE!!! I am in awe.

The upside of this fabric is that I am very pet-able when I wear it, the downside was I had to vacuum the studio several times while cutting and sewing the sweatshirt.

The other upside: cats may want to snuggle you. The other downside: creepy dudes may want to snuggle you. ;)

Oh, and too wide jeans. That is a problem I remember but DO NOT HAVE of late. I totally gained the covid 20 or the perimenopause 20 or something. I haven't actually weighed myself but my jeans are bit too small now, not too large... 😅

3 years ago in #hive-127911 by phoenixwren

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neumannsalva 3 years ago

Thankfully the fluffy garment does not foster interest of creepy dudes so far but cat attention sounds lovely. If creepy dudes appear I could perhaps execute my arson skills? Or borrow your guillotine...🙏

And with the wide jeans.. sigh... weight gain is not rewarded in our society. And sadly I am completely brainwashed by society's beauty models (regarding my own body... I am completely different with other people and am able to notice much more forms of beauty) so I am on the one hand happy to be slimmer, but on the other hand... the weight loss is not intentional but owed to an increase of headaches. I really hope the hormones (😱 yes taking hormones now) help with this.
And thank you so much for cheering me on ❤️

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phoenixwren 3 years ago

Of course we can break out the guillotine! ;)

(regarding my own body... I am completely different with other people and am able to notice much more forms of beauty)

Oh, I feel this so much. I think all sorts of people are beautiful or just don't notice/care/judge, but in my own body I'm like "EEECH. What is thiiiiiis". Of course with me it's tied up with dysphoria because when I gain weight, I look more curvaceous/"feminine," and that really bothers me. When I was thin I was sometimes mistaken for a young lad, which, ya know, was mistaking me for way too young but at least they got the gender right. 😂

Oh man, I hope those hormones help the headaches. You need relief!!!

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neumannsalva 3 years ago

I did not think about your body image… thoughtless me… sorry 🙈 THis adds another layer of complicated and I have no clever ideas how to cope. I can only say for me that the perception of other peoples gender often has a lot to do with body language, tone of voice etc. but this is my outside perception… does not help in the least with inside perception. And I fear I am not good with gender roles… mine are perhaps a bit wobbly (and not often thought through, especially regarding others, shame on me)
Although I like to dress with feminine read clothes (skirt, dresses) I am not a big fan of clear gender roles (here it gets complicated for me in English… so if it sounds stupid please blame my language skills). I kind of always assume that everybody could change their gender or maybe I do not feel that certain traits are gender bound (sighhhhhh - language!!!!) and I am sometimes very surprised when friends have super clear sex/gender roles they behave after and which they see as completely fixed.
THis was the attempt to explain why I did not thought about how gaining/loosing wait could help you to identify/accept? your body.
Ok… too long… my comment got too long… and perhaps I completely failed the point as I am not sure if societies norms regarding sex/gender representation do play a role in your inner acceptance.
Feel free to ignore this comment, I again blame the language 😱 (but I tried)

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phoenixwren 3 years ago

thoughtless me… sorry

No, you did nothing wrong at all. I was just commiserating with how it feels like there's not judgement for other people's bodies but definitely some exists for my own.

Yeah, I agree that lots of things shouldn't really be "gender bound" when they're just human traits, and not male/female traits. A lot of people, even if they are cisgender, feel bound by "rules" because of how society thinks genders should act, and it's silly. People are individuals and have the whole range of human experience and limiting themselves because they think "that's a boy thing" or "a girl thing" is just limiting your experience pretty arbitrarily. Like, boys can cry and like to do crafty things (which are generally considered "feminine" things), and girls can get angry and like to play sports (which are generally considered "masculine" things), and to shame people for it is ridiculous.

In fact, one of the big reasons I think why I didn't realize I was trans until later in life is because I just thought I was "doing feminism" like NO DO NOT TREAT ME WITH YOUR STEREOTYPES OF HOW YOU THINK GIRLS SHOULD BE RAWR and it didn't quite register that it wasn't just about expectations and stereotypes for me but something far more. Like I thought I was rebelling against social expectations but really I just felt wrong all around and I didn't have the words for it.

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