"Voice in my head...."
"Today is going to be a great day. I feel so motivated and full of energy. What should I do with all this energy today? I know I am going to achieve something that will make me happy."
Jake starts his day.
Sleep is a little screwy but things pertaining to normalcy don't bother him much, it's other people who generally make these things a problem. He's certainly good at communicating when something might not go according to plan because of sleep. "...Adapt and overcome, adapt and overcome..."
Jake paces around the house smoking cigarettes and allowing the mechanics of his brain to figure everything out.
"Do they really expect me to explain how my brain builds the future?"
Jake visits that thought briefly and realizes it's slowing down his day.
"It doesn't matter much, Rome wasn't built in a day and I am full of energy."
Jake thinks about Hive....
"Are my photos I'm sharing in the @canna-curate discord good enough to use for my post tonight? Probably not, my energy is so damn high that I need to allow the mechanics of my brain to build the future of that post.. I shouldn't think too much about it though."
I'm still thinking about Hive though...
"What do the other Hive members think about my account behaviors? What do they think I'm planning to do in the future with my blog? Do they think I'm long minded or short minded, profit minded or community minded? They're probably thinking I'm just in it for the money. Should I tailor my blog as a grow log just for other cannabis growers or should I talk in language that's easy for everyone to comprehend, or should I mix it up? Damn I think I need to revisit these thoughts another time."
Jake decides it's time to listen to music while his brain builds the future.
"What style should I choose. Almost everything with words invokes feelings that erupt and I expel energy while I listen to the music. I have to conserve this energy so maybe I should listen to Stevie Ray Vaughan because he's got that perfect energetic flow that won't wear my ass out too much. This shit can't possibly be what normal people think about can it?"
Jake ponders what normalcy even is...
Then he ponders how nice it would be to kiss a lady at the moment.
"Where the hell did that thought come from?"
Then Jake starts thinking about his past relationships.
"Let's see what's going on with the narcissist abuse channels on YouTube, I have energy to spare anyway and need some community support!"
Jake still feels optimistic about what he's going to do with all his creative energy today.
Why not? Jake does this every single day in some form or fashion.
"Change induces more change, lemme try new things!"
"Support groups for narcissism abuse is invoking change right?"
Another thought comes.
"The answers lie within, outside support probably won't help much."
Jake thinks we're social creatures and doesn't believe in isolation because that's exactly what a stalker psycho would want him to do.
The YouTube live chat on a stream that's going down is just too tempting for Jake to stay away from.
At this point he gleefully jumps in and is met with all kinds of YouTube chat love!
"I don't want to stroke my own ego and feel like I'm good with words but these people love me!"
Jake quickly regards that thought as a little narcissistic and corrects his thinking. It's still damn hard not to think of himself as a wordsmith of sorts but he also believes it's important to remain humble. Jake has seen some really amazing wordsmiths on Hive and believes this is where the geniuses of the world reside.
Jake had been hanging out in this narc support lair for about eight weeks and thought these people really knew their stuff about narcissism and were all empathic people.
It wasn't until Jake started talking about lust and connotations of biblical proportions that attacks in the chat box started happening.
"Please don't talk about these graphic things because they are offensive."
Jake was confused....
"How is lust a topic that is offensive to narc survivors? Is it crazy to say that men who begin drooling over a woman's curvature have a weakness for lust, and therefor can make themselves an easy target for narcisisttic women?
All of a sudden another woman in the chat chimed in and said: "He's a narcissist!!!!!"
It was if suddenly in a virtual sense Jake had been bound and was being led to the gallows while stoned by a group of narc survivors.
"Narc! Narc! Narc! We have a NARC IN THE CHAT!!!!!!!!!!"
At this point Jake is scrambling...
"What have I done? What did I say that was so bad? I still don't understand! I am talking about something relevant and not using profanity!"
Suddenly the moderator tells Jake he has referred to his penis and its propensity to enlargen when he sees a busty woman.
Jake realizes how this could have been seen as offensive but he really didn't mean it to be.
"I'm sorry! I did not know I offended anyone by stating what happens when I'm in the presence of an attractive woman. It's pretty common sense and I just shouldn't have said it like that, you're right and I'm sorry."
But Jake had already been banned and they were just tearing him apart more and more.
Jake didn't know what to do, so he sent a superchat donation letting the streamer know he was being lied to about the situation.
"I'm being moderated for talking about lust in a narcissism stream because my language was inappropriate but I didn't realize it."
This only served to make the man think Jake was a psychotic narcissist and he pointed out how Jake even paid to make his voice heard while laughing hysterically at Jake.
Jake was just trying to defend himself against an onslaught where his voice was being silenced.
"I cannot believe this man is laughing at me and the situation is worse because I donated some of my resources to him in an effort to try to make right the lies that were happening in real time."
Jake watched a group of people diminish his character, call him stupid as a fifth grader, and all point and laugh as he was bound in a virtual setting with no way to defend himself, and their stoning only got worse the more he tried.
"What is happening to the world? My energy for my post is gone....
All gone indeed.
Jake had been drained by a group of hurt people.
Jake had been chosen to be some kind of martyr to their pain and suffering.
All Jake could do was watch from the outside, bound and silenced.
Jake burned his dinner while it was all happening.
Jake realized he didn't build the future he wanted for today, but that this is a part of life, and we mustn't allow the forces of darkness to extinguish the light that lives inside of us.
"They were all acting out of hurt, they were blind to their own ineptitudes, blinded by the blood lust of the crowd, could not see I was one of them and they were kicking me while I was down and bound, silenced and ridiculed. It is not their fault, for the blind will lead the blind." Jake thought.....
Jake decided to write him an email expressing the truth of every detail that happened, including how I watched him laugh at me while my dinner burned after I sent him some of my resources simply in an attempt to get my voice heard regarding the truth.
They had said they would all pray for Jacob, while he had already been silenced, squirming around in the blood of the proverbial wounds that they had inflicted with their conviction, he thought:
"I'll pray for your souls as well."
Voice in my head....
"I still have a little energy left....."
"What can you do,
When life throws you a curveball?"
Photo by futuremind, variegated Ceropegia woodii
This is a true story of today's events, and I am Jake.
I've been picking up the pieces of a recent failed relationship, where the entire atmosphere was very toxic.
I've never been a quitter and have always believed that environmental, social, and spiritual changes are necessary to conquer traumatic hardship in life.
I started blogging years ago to do just that and it has served me well as a coping mechanism, and also as a tool to learn and develop my writing skills and various other skills, while building longstanding positive relationships with intelligent positively minded individuals on Hive. This is a very special place.
To help put in perspective the title of my post and what it means,
life threw me a curveball today, but I used the curveball to move and "adapt and overcome" by writing it all out in a post as a story about Jake.
I still achieved my one of my objectives today, which was to make a post. Although life threw me a curveball, I did not let it entirely ruin my day, and writing about things can help with perspective.
Looking at it from another angle, it's interesting how the energetic mind of a crowd can completely displace logic and people will quickly become like vicious ravenous creatures. It certainly gives insight into the primal instincts of mankind and how we operate on a mass scale. At our core we are animals of the earth, and I only implore you to watch a little National Geographic to put into perspective what that means.
Thank you for stopping by!
I would love to read what you think about this story in the comments section!
Have a great day! -@futuremind
