How to unmask an alien with knitting

in #hive-1279113 years ago

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If you are an avid watcher of science fiction or horror movies you are aware of the very real possibility of body snatchers, clones, aliens, or evil twins living in direct vicinity. Beings who are known for having dangerous attitudes regarding human body parts. Beings who may want to transform first your neighborhood, then your city and then humanity into something very different. Perhaps a world consisting out of a lot of slime, dead trees, and tentacles … or wait, is this a different storyline?

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I think we all agree that a slimy world is not preferable, but what to do? How to prevent this alien invasion? How can we determine if the neighbor is a nice middle-aged woman or a brain-sucking monster?
Give her something to knit I say (crochet works too). If she finishes it in one go and even volunteers to unravel and re-knit all your projects gone wrong, run away, she is a body-snatching alienzombymonster. For sure. Now you want to know why I am so learned in this topic:

I am this alienzombymonster

Remember I finished three!!! projects in on go. And that’s not all. I sewed together the first sleeve on two projects I am currently working on. Sewed the sleeve together while I am working on the second sleeve!! This is so telling. No human would do this. No, they would knit the first sleeve, then start approximately 10 new projects, then start the second sleeve only to bury the project for at least a year before sewing the seams.

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But there is more…
Remember this cute lavender wrap jacket I started some time ago and got abandoned because the I-cord hem rolled like crazy, but I was too frustrated to unravel it because I have knitted weeks on the I-cord hem and the integrated cord… ?

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I not only unraveled it, no I knitted a new hem, the first sleeve, sewed the first sleeve together and nearly finished the second on.

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So, there is no question I failed at the is-she-an-alien-test.

I hope I am still welcomed in the #needleworkmonday community although I seem to be a monster.

Addendum: I wrote a short post, another certain indicator I am an alien… Now I am afraid of myself 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱


Thank you @crosheille for initiating and @marblely for hosting the #needleworkmonday and the community builder team @lauramica, @romeskie and @kattycrochet I am so glad to be part of. If you want to see more beautiful projects with yarn, fabric, and most of all needles, follow @needleworkmonday. Or even better grab your needles and keyboard and join the #needleworkmonday community.

Ohhh, if you don't have a hive account and want to comment then visit my Wordpressblog Bliss and Blisters and write me there.

Read more about my art und upcoming exhibitions on neumannsalva or buy some of my digital artworks on NFT showroom.

Last but not least: if my post coaxed a smile on your face you could support me with cocain coffee on Ko-fi

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The people doing V2K with remote neural monitoring want me to believe this lady @battleaxe is an operator. She is involved deeply with her group and @fyrstikken . Her discord is Battleaxe#1003. I cant prove she is the one directly doing the V2K and RNM. Doing it requires more than one person at the least. It cant be done alone. She cant prove she is not one of the ones doing it. I was drugged in my home covertly, it ended badly. They have tried to kill me and are still trying to kill me. I bet nobody does anything at all. Ask @battleaxe to prove it. I bet she wont. They want me to believe the V2K and RNM in me is being broadcast from her location. And what the fuck is "HOMELAND SECURITY" doing about this shit? I think stumbling over their own dicks maybe? Just like they did and are doing with the Havana Syndrome.

They are reckless and should have shown the proper media what they had before taking me hostage for 5 years.

What would you say while having a gun pointed at your head from an undisclosed location? Have people find it? My hands are tied while they play like children with a gun to my head. Its a terrorist act on American soil while some yawn and say its not real or Im a mental case. Many know its real. This is an ignored detrimental to humanity domestic threat. Ask informed soldiers in the American military what their oath is and tell them about the day you asked me why. Nobody has I guess. Maybe someone told ill informed soldiers they cant protect America from military leaders in control with ill intent. How do we protect locked up soldiers from telling the truth? https://ecency.com/fyrstikken/@fairandbalanced/i-am-the-only-motherfucker-on-the-internet-pointing-to-a-direct-source-for-voice-to-skull-electronic-terrorism

Even to accept knitting would raise the alarm. What knitter in their right mind (body) would do that? We all have far too much knitting to be getting on with.

I love the colour of the wrap, so beautiful and Spring-like. The way you are working, it is as if possessed ... if not by an alien, perhaps some other supernatural creature 😱.

Accepting knitting... Now reading it again, I must say, yes, this is the initial red flag :-DDD
And with the knitting possession, perhaps it was a variety of “spring-cleaning” :-DDD

a variety of “spring-cleaning”

😍

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Hahaha maybe it's not that you're an alien, but that all the planets aligned for you to finish many projects at once... This is great Simone, keep it up you're going to have a lot of new clothes. I hope this impulse of creativity continues ❤️.

My hypothesis was that I am in a kind of spring-cleaning-fewer... hope this holds and I get some more of these unfinished objects done (but to be honest, i already got distracted by a sewing magazine and right now cutting out new patterns 😱😆)

The people doing V2K with remote neural monitoring want me to believe this lady @battleaxe is an operator. She is involved deeply with her group and @fyrstikken . Her discord is Battleaxe#1003. I cant prove she is the one directly doing the V2K and RNM. Doing it requires more than one person at the least. It cant be done alone. She cant prove she is not one of the ones doing it. I was drugged in my home covertly, it ended badly. They have tried to kill me and are still trying to kill me. I bet nobody does anything at all. Ask @battleaxe to prove it. I bet she wont. They want me to believe the V2K and RNM in me is being broadcast from her location. And what the fuck is "HOMELAND SECURITY" doing about this shit? I think stumbling over their own dicks maybe? Just like they did and are doing with the Havana Syndrome.

They are reckless and should have shown the proper media what they had before taking me hostage for 5 years.

What would you say while having a gun pointed at your head from an undisclosed location? Have people find it? My hands are tied while they play like children with a gun to my head. Its a terrorist act on American soil while some yawn and say its not real or Im a mental case. Many know its real. This is an ignored detrimental to humanity domestic threat. Ask informed soldiers in the American military what their oath is and tell them about the day you asked me why. Nobody has I guess. Maybe someone told ill informed soldiers they cant protect America from military leaders in control with ill intent. How do we protect locked up soldiers from telling the truth? https://ecency.com/fyrstikken/@fairandbalanced/i-am-the-only-motherfucker-on-the-internet-pointing-to-a-direct-source-for-voice-to-skull-electronic-terrorism

This superb thanks for sharing @neumannsalva, your content are always great and amazing thanks 🙏🏽

So nice to see you here. I will hp to your blog now to look whats you are up to on the sewing fron :-)

LOL! "Alienzombymonster" is my new favorite word. We need more super compounded words like in German, for English. I am here for adding alienzombymonster to the official lexicon. Somebody call Oxford to get it in the dictionary! 😂

Also, woooooooooooooooooow you are a very productive alienzombymonster. It's almost like that story about the cobbler who has brownies or some other sort of Otherworldly folk coming in and making a bunch of shoes for him. Did you make friends with the faeries?? 🤔

Thirdalso, I love that stripey sweater! The colors are great.

Alienzombymonster transformed into alienzombymonster with hurt middle finger (just to write about compound words: in German the middle finger is a Mittelfinger :-DDD) I am so stupid sometimes... I tried to dig out a raised patch and did this alone in a rush on Monday evening (will send you photos of proof) because we got some sheep manure from the neighbour. Now my finger is swollen and yesterday I could not type (or knit or anything 😭)
I hope the brownies are not offended that I stopped to be productive for one day, as I heard they can be fickle (but I baked a bread, perhaps this placates them 🙏) And because I am now in a Germanwordbubble I feel compelled to tell you that brownies are named Heinzelmännchen here 😊💕

I think the Heinzelmännchen like bread. 😃 The faeries do, anyway!

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oh wow your dolls have learned to bake and such a wonderful braid... 😍 (breaids are not my forte... I somehow mess them up, I guess I am pulling to much at the dough)

The way that I do bread braids is to lay it out on the counter and take one strand of dough at a time and lay it all the way across, almost sideways, put it down, pick up the next one, etc. So it looks really dramatic and takes up a lot of space but I don't stretch the dough too much that way. I'll have to take pictures next time I do it. :)

Yep. Or might be a robot. Too many distractions in life (and we have to eat, too) to finish a garment except a hat in one sitting. :-)

So no fear, I am back to my old self and started a new knitting project on the weekend, I could not stop myself :-DDD But this proves I am no robotalienzombymonster... makes me relax a bit

Ha ha! Well, I know I am not an alien nor a robot. I don't have boundless energy of my youth. I must rest more and spend time on reflection. Ha ha! I am glad you are more relaxed! Enjoy.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you are so funny my dear!!!! 😁 I love your striped sweater. he is very cheerful and festive. the blue sweater suits you very well: both the model and the color. very interesting to see it already finished 😀

I had to smile myself when I finished the title photo, I especially love the teeth :-DDD
And I am so excited with the striped sweater, but there is still the problem of the neckline to solve. Do you remember, this is the sweater which should have a vintage collar, but where I made a mistake. Now it is a bit too wide to my liking, I have to think a bit how I will finish the neckline in a nice way... (perhaps the collar can still be done)

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you anything about the neck of your sweater, but I’m sure you will definitely come up with something. as a creative person you will always have new ideas!

Well i could manage to stay with an alien that knits such beautiful colors together.
I really love your zeal at trying to clear up all the abandon projects without thinking of making new ones until this is completed..

It must have been courageous of you to unravel and reknit again... 🌹🌺🌼💐🌸

Sigh, I am relieved now, but Ishould have anticipated it, the needlework community is really accepting, so it is ok, if I am an alienmonster :-DDDD
Thank you so much for your support. I guess I am in a kind of spring-cleaning-fewer. Hope it holds, so that I get done some more projects.
(Although I may or may not have cut out several new sewing patterns 😱😂)

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thats indeed some admirable patience you brought in there!!! i think it will definitely be worth though the wrap top looks very cute (what we see from it so far), is it going to have overlapping "wraps" or just a knot at the front? oh and i love the color combination of the stripes on the other top!!! i would definitely wear that:)

I will have overlapping fronts and I am planning to knit a "cord" in the width of the ribbing to tie it (of if it does not work I will add a button and a loop) But I have a new problem, I cannot find another skein of this yarn in my boxes 😱

oooh no.. thats quite discouraging, well maybe another color? and of course the yarn cant just be bought across the street.. well thats how i imagine, but i guess you already got so far, so there is hope:))

I still have hope... I have not searched all boxes (too much headaches)🙏 If I really do not have another skein this would be a problem as I purchased the yarn on eBay. Its from a ecological brand that does not exist anymore 😱

aah yes its always like this, isnt it? but i guess an other color or strips in a different material or fabric could definitely work too.. :)

That was really, Really Good!
👍🏼😊👍🏼

Thank youuuu 😊

Absolutely!
Have an Amazing Thursday!
🙋👍🏼🌄👍🏼🙋

Oh, my God, here she comes the alien needle worker. You’re afraid, how can you be, when you’re so determined and amazingly excellent. I’m going to write a song about this, all good legends need a song, don’t you think. The Zombie sleeve invasion no less.

This is the very best thing I’ve ever read. EVER! May your life be long, convoluted and spiked with the luck only a crochet hook can HOOK!
❤️😊🤔🤔🤔🤔😊😊❤️🔥🤔💥🤗😀💕💕😀🌸🤭😯🥳💓🌸

O wow, what a exceptional lovely comment, I am blushing while reading (alienmonster still can blush I learned :-D) I hope your hook of luck will transform the neckline of the striped sweater (because I made it too wide) and conjure a perfect vintage collar.
Do you also like to do some needle related crafts?

😂 Haha
Sorry about the neckline🤭
Yes, I sew
🌸💓💕
https://ecency.com/hive-127911/@itsostylish/make-an-infinity-dress-free

Oh noooo shame on me you even posted into the needlework community and I did not see it 😱 And what a dress!!!!! It is absolutely stunning. I also like to sew, but between knitting and crochet its the thing I am least skilled in. No idea why, but its the hardest for me (in comparison to knitting/crochet), somehow I cannot visualise 3d things well :-DDDD
But your dress, wow... I hope to see more of your designs here 🙏