9/11 - My Father's Last Birthday

in #hive-1063163 years ago

We were celebrating my Dad's 72nd birthday when news broke about the horrific attack on the Twin Towers and I will never forget his comment:

This is one date I will never forget!

Exactly a year later, we were saying goodbye to my Dad at a memorial service as he unexpectedly died after an aortic aneurism ruptured, just four days before his birthday.

All our friends and family felt it fitting that we held his memorial on what would have been his 73rd birthday.
The church was overflowing, people came who I had not met before that day, as my Dad made new friends in his post-retirement part-time job; many came up to me afterwards to say how they were going to miss his humour, patience and compassion.

Dad was the type of man who could not sit idle; he always had some project or other on the go, so when he was forced to retire as he had reached the cut-off/ sell-by-date, he was not a happy man!

Mom was occasionally helping out at Sizanani Academy of Sewing and Design at the time, which is run from their church premises.

A little bit about this amazing project - Sizanani is an isiZulu word meaning help one another; it's a Non-Profit Organisation that offers training in sewing and pattern making to unskilled and unemployed people; many end up starting their own little businesses or find work in the formal sector.

The church needed a handyman, and Mom told them that my Dad would be more than happy to work again. He was known as someone who could fix anything, went for an interview and was offered a half-day position as the handyman, a job he loved.

Mom became a regular at Sizanani, tracing and cutting out hundreds of fabric applique designs like the guinea fowl and ethnic designs in my pic below.
They started making shirts, stoles, place mats and a host of other useful sewn items; employing some of the talented seamstresses who had completed their courses.
This helped funding their outreach program which started expanding.

My placemats have faded somewhat, but this is an example.
20210912_080908.jpg

The church had an ancient VW Kombi that someone jokingly said only Dad knew how to drive. He would fetch many of the old dears from their place of residence and take them to church functions.

My Dad was quite the inventor, something I wrote about a long time ago where I shared many of his inventions HERE.
The two below are my favourites and both items I often use; a butternut or gem squash cutter and a cake/ tart carrier, with removable shelves for higher cakes. This used to be very handy as both Mom and I love baking and often had to supply cakes and tarts at functions, something we've not done for a while as there of course have not been any more big functions ever since Covid.

Dad inventions.jpg

My Dad was a super talented musician and as I told you just the other day in Our Lily of the Valley turns 90, he learnt to play many instruments; mostly self-taught.

Dad Malan concertina.jpg
Dad is playing the concertina in the pic above and Mom the piano, although she says she could only play the chords; their pianist let them down at the last minute and it was a big competition that they had entered. They apparently still came second!

So why am I sharing this with you and not talking much about the event that took place 20 years ago in America?

In honour of my Dad who also did not believe in clinging to the past, always looked to the day of tomorrow and believed in working together.
We can change things by starting with ourselves, make a plan just like my Dad often did; invent our new future, our new normal, our new tomorrow.

We can never forget horrific acts like 911 and the people who lost their lives, but the revenge that often follows acts like this is abhorrent, as it only causes more division and hatred AND perpetuates the horrors!

Dad Malan, we miss you but salute you as you were a man of peace, a gentleman and friend to many; you left a huge hole in our hearts!

Malan Lily.jpg

I'll leave you to listen to the words of the hauntingly beautiful song 'There's a Hole in the World tonight' written and performed by The Eagles soon after 911.


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Another beautiful post my dear. Thank you for memorializing your parents here.

Thank you Silver Dish (not Plate LOL, remember that one!), appreciate your kind comments!

A butternut squash peeler sounds like a really good invention. It must have took me well over half an hour yesterday to peel and dice mine and making sure I don't dice my fingers at the same time!

Exactly! The idea originated when I cut my hand while cutting a hard gem squash in half, I needed to go to the doc for stitches!
It's designed for that, but I since discovered that one can chop butternut easily as well, saves a load of time as I'm always late with starting dinner😉
Thank you for visiting @livinguktaiwan !


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what a kind of father you had! Beautiful song, I heard it in youtube because yours didn't sound. I liked his inventions, I need a pumpkin cutter lol.
There's a hole in the world tonight
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow
There's a hole in the world tonight
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow

They say that anger is just love disappointed
They say that love is just a state of mind
But all this fighting over who will be anointed
Oh, how can people be so blind?

There's a hole in the world tonight
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow
There's a hole in the world tonight
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow

Oh, they tell me there's a place over yonder
Cool water running through the burning sand
Until we learn to love one another
We will never reach the promised land

There's a hole in the world tonight
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow
There's a hole in the world tonight
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow

Ah thank you so much for sharing the lyrics from that song, such true words! Glad you enjoyed the post @ladyfont.

Lovely tribute to your Dad, Lizelle

Thank you Christine, glad you enjoyed it!

Yes - a special post - made me miss my dad

Great tribute to your dad! He sounds like he was a wonderful man for sure! Taken before his time but sometimes the best ones are taken early unfortunately.

Retaliation is often the worst kind, and particularly if there’s lacking evidence. I’m sure everyone groans at the “weapons of mass destruction” farce.

Taken before his time but sometimes the best ones are taken early unfortunately.

Sadly true and so is your comment about the retaliation that followed that awful act!

Appreciate your comments @cmplxty !

What a team your mother and father must have made.
When our parents have passed and joined those looking down from above, fond memories become so very special.
It's never easy having someone tell you that you have reached your expiration date, but your dad found another avenue to put his many talents to use.
Having so many show up to pay their respect for your father at his funeral had to be heartwarming, knowing that he had touched so many so deeply.

The song by The Eagles rings of so much truth. I've never heard this song before and it sent chills up and down my spine.
This horrific event did bring citizens of our great country together as we all realized we are one big family.
It would be wonderful to experience this unity once again, but without a tragedy being the reason.
The name United States seems like a thing of the past, but hopefully, someone or something can resurrect this nation to what it once was.

They really made a formidable team, never had it easy as Dad was a tradesman, but Mom started a little side business selling homemade pies etc at a local factory nearby. Dad built a little pushcart and our domestic worker became the vendor, so they employed a new domestic worker. They made sure we had our 3 week annual holidays by the sea.
That lyrics of that song is really amazing!
I really appreciate your wonderful feedback @thebigsweed :)

Your father sounds like he was a wonderful man and loved by many! Do you find yourself revisiting memories of him often? That's happened a lot for me in this past year since losing my Dad. It's hard to believe we're approaching the first anniversary of losing him.

We experience so much loss as we get older and the void never really leaves us but I'm so thankful for the memories. Events like 9/11 are good reminders for me to appreciate each moment a little more.

He was a wonderfully kind man, I find the memories are often triggered by small things but especially on special occasions. It's good to reminisce though!
I can't believe it's almost a year since the loss of your Dad!
It's so true about the losses happening more often as one gets older, that's why we need to make the most of each day! It's just sad that Covid stopped social interaction on the scale we've all experienced and are still experiencing in many countries!

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Enjoyed tribute to your Dad who enjoyed inventing ways to make the future easier. Living in the past is unhealthy, remembering is always good but never linger.

Too often excuses are made on mistakes made in history holding many back, moving forward without all the baggage may offer a brighter future.

Nice share @lizelle we cannot change the past, only learn from it, yet how often don't we fall into the same repeated method of destruction?

Glad you enjoyed it Joan, thank you!
Very wise words from you too, we so often fall into that trap time and time again not so!

Older generation did not say much, it was more in doing!

Life feels like a hamster wheel, someone will always bring out the negative rather than pack the past away, try find a way into a future which is more fair all round.

Excellent analogy Joan!

What a wonderful post, @lizelle. Such a blessing to have good parents, it sustains us in times of trouble, long after they are gone. I too was blessed with solid parents that showed through example what life should be, a partnership, a bond, a commitment to the family. It's amazing your mom has had the grit to outlive him by nearly 2 decades, bless her.
Stay well and find joy everyday!

I'm so glad you also have good memories of your parents, really is invaluable not so! Mom is a very determined little lady and always took great care with eating for health and keeping fit by walking, but that came to an end when this horrid brain tumour started getting too big and affected her balance!
She still misses him of course, it's been a long time indeed!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts @farm-mom, much appreciated 🌻

Hi @lizelle, it's so hard for all of us to see our wonderful moms or dads suffering. Your mom is an inspiration to us all. I hope and pray the Lord is good to her when her time comes. But I gotta tell you, she may our live us all , just to show off her spunk.
Sending hugs.